As I lay here In a cold sweat trying not to throw up and feeling terrible I realized something, maybe I'm just delirious from the fever but even though I'm running a fever, throwing up, and generally feeling like crap I realized I'm in all honestly perfectly safe and healthy. No matter what happens to me I have doctors to treat me, a warm bed to rest in, medicines to take and the orange juice to take them with. No matter how bad I get I will always be in a better position than so many others in this world.
-Cale Fichter

"This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It’s the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be safe with me"
-Bon Iver

Location:Yorktown Dr,Columbia,United States

The problems with Technology.

this age of technology creates something that can destroy us as well as bond us but it all depends on how we want to use it. do we wasn't disconnect and destruction of do we want a world of unity and understanding? the truth is that the more we rely on these "Social networks" the more we are connected to others that we typically dont have connections with but at the same time we use these as tools to communicate instead of having face to face connections. i cannot recall how many times i have heard people talking about people that they've "Facebook stalked" and dont even know the person beyond that superficial and shallow attempt at communication. It frustrates and worries me that people do this. its not only rude but dangerous, you can not only distory someone with assumptions but you can miss the chance to meet and actually know someone who is true and has dreams and ambitions that people cannot know from a newsfeed. When you think about it all you get from that is their favorite music ( or at least what they think society thinks is acceptable), where they work, their favorite TV shows, and multiple ways to stalk them such as the inefficient email, the outdated AIM accounts from the 90's, a telephone number (but lets face it who actually calls people anymore, isnt that what Facebook is for?!) and other links to sites such as this one. now i realize im being super hypocritical but i cannot stand Facebook, but the truth is that there is really no way for me to back out of it, all connections are made through here. if i want to have a social life i am almost forced to have an account. Did we forget what we did before Facebook? we called people, we went and talked to people and didn't have this eery feeling that we didn't truly know the person were talking to. Now this is not to say that we dont know any of our friends on Facebook but for new acquaintances whats the first thing you do to "get to know them?" you look at pictures, you look at religion, political status, and most importantly (if you're single) their relationship status ( dont even lie to yourself if its the opposite sex and you're single you check to see if you even have a chance.) but heres the thing, all of these are super shallow expressions of a person.the truth is who cares if you're a democrat, republican communist or whatever you believe in? who cares if your religious views are Buddhist, christian, or the flying spaghetti monster, this tells you the surface of them. ones self does not lie at the surface but deep in their hearts and souls. what are their dreams? what are their ambitions in life? who are they really? connection in this world does not mean having a shallow existence, stand up and tell who you are and what you're doing. Facebook is a social killer i can only hope people can wake up from this deep trace.

Good news leads to good lives

"there's a darkness apon me that's flooded in light." -Avett Brothers.

First off I'd like to say that, my friend who was having so many problems and had you pray for had his girlfriend call me yesterday night and give me the news that he had indeed gone to rehab and has convinced him that he can't have a normal life without this and that he has to have a long journey in order to be who he wants to be. He is a strong man and I have all the faith in the world he can do this.

Now as for me I am currently sitting at Fellows Lake writing to you all. The leaves have turned into a living painting showing the glorious life nature is, the water is rippling as the sun shines brightly wind fills the air with the smell of fall. Absolutly amazing what this world has to offer.











Life is full of problems but it's how you go about fixing these problems that shows how you will be remembered. If you simply ignore the world around you and focus on your problems and only your problems the world will simply crumble. We need to focus on connections with people and showing that there is more than pain in this world. Love is a powerful thing but the truth is that there is evil in this world and sometimes outweighs the good. I'm no different from the rest of the world I am guilty of causing harm to people whether it's physical or emotional we've all been there. What I'm telling you now is that you can't ignore people who are perceived as scum of the world. Some of the homeless that I have talked to have more incite to this world than most people who are in top in this world. One older gentleman who was living on the streets surprised me last year when I was talking to him, he stated that even though he's on the streets he was lucky and blessed. that was different. So I asked him why that was, and his response blew me away. He said that he was homeless but he was still alive and that he had food, shelter and Jesus to keep him alive and happy, he also said that American homeless are blessed because even though they don't have homes they aren't dying of starvation and always have somewhere they can go to get all the help they need while most of the world struggles to survive day by day. I didn't know what to say to this. But i can tell you this, if you live day by day not having to wonder if you will wake to see tomorrow because you're deprived of basic needs in life you are blessed. To many people take for granted what is in their eyes a given. Here's my message for today, try to not take advantage of what is in your life because you are truly lucky. Second dont pass by the people who you assume are worthless. I have had numerous conversations with the religious protesters and while some views I strongly disagree with there is a common ground and at the end of the day we are all human. Judging is a direct path to a horrible life listen to your fellow man and let him express his feelings as you express yours. The only true way to peace is the sharing of ideas and being able to understand and find common ground with those you see as your enemy. Express yourself to someone this week but please, don't push your beliefs on them just tell them how you look at your world.
Love and acceptance is the answer.





-Cale Fichter



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Fellows Lake

A Losing Battle

Yesterday I received a call from a friend of mine who had been getting help from a local rehab house. He seemed distressed and when I asked him about it he without hesitation told me that he had dropped out of the program and renounced his faith claiming that, " all I've done is good things and nothing good has happened to me." but it had, he had gotten into a program, found a girlfriend, quit meth and alcohol, and met me and went to church with me. I had been there the entire time. I am trying to understand what happened and what went wrong. Please pray for him to make he right decisions and not end back up in jail.
-Cale Fichter


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:S Jefferson Ave,Springfield,United States

Let's face facts, I screw up a lot. You all may be thinking, "oh you're just human, everyone makes mistakes." but at what point are those mistakes so common that you inevitably destroy what was once right and replace it with this twisted version of reality. People place their lives in the hands of those around them whether they want to believe it or not, their views, beliefs, habits, and just overall who they are to become is at stake and sitting in the hands of their peers. There's where the problem is, we look to others to see what is acceptable and morally wrong and right. Now, I'm not stupid and I realize this is easier said than done, trust me I've tried, but what I am saying is that you can sit back and realize this and find who YOU are not what your surroundings tell you, you are. I have spent countless hours of my life on a journey, a journey to find myself and who i really am. It seemed to have worked but as of today I realized that I have reverted back to my old ways of commanding and leading through fear and force. This truly is who, as a human man by nature, I should be but not who I am as a person, as a soul, mentally I have two functions. By nature I am to fight and lead, let's face it I have violent tendencies and I use this to pressure people into Doing what I want them to. Historically this probably would have been handy for leading hunting and organizing in order to stay alive ( I dont know if this is true but it would be my best guess) Modern day has no need for this. And therefore I am aggressively using what I don't need. I am not saying that I always am this way but I can be. Life is a complex and odd thing and it's a challenge to figure out who you're supposed to be vs. What your natural instincts tell you to be. Here's what i propose we do about this, try it out and email me about your results if you want. This has worked in the past and i need to do this on a regular basis. Take time for yourself, grab your iPod, or whatever MP3 player you have and just go to your favorite spot or somewhere new, just make sure you're able to focus on yourself and not what's around you. I chose the woods or a field because I have a need for nature. Sit down and make yourself comfortable, listen to your favorite soothing music and just think about your dreams and what you have done wrong. This seems easy but from what I have found people like to forget or hide these memories, even to themselves but just think about them, think about how that effected you life and why you wouldn't want that to happen again. While your mind desperately wants to forget it is important to remember because if you can't remember your mistakes you are bound to repeat them. For me this has helped me sort through a lot of things that needed to be remembered, it calmed me and made me focus on who I was becoming and not who I was. I urge you to try this for yourself. Stay calm and remember to be who you want to be not who you are supposed to be by nature and society. -Cale Fichter

If any questions, email me @ cf1991@live.missouristate.edu

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Love is Blind

Although I'm blind my eyes still shine with pain. I hide with these eyes the tears that are inside for love is blind.through the darkness I stumble, wishing for light but love is blind, oh how it's blind. The crushing darkness swallows me as I drown in an ocean of my tears. But as the sun arises on this morning so clear my thoughts are all here. I pretend to know what the light shows me but alas I am blind. There is darkness behind these glowing eyes. If only you could see what is inside of me you'd understand where I am. Who I am. What I am. I am a man, covered in the dark threatened by life, love, happiness. But I will prevail for my thoughts shall sail until one day you are there beside me.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:E Grand St,Springfield,United States

What are we doing?

in the recent months i've realized just how fucked up our existance on this earth is. we as the better off people of this world are self centered, greedy, and wasteful people and we should all be ashamed of our actions. weither your American, british, german or anywhere in the world if you have a place to sleep at night and have food for 3 or more meals a day youre spoiled. most of the people on this planet dont have this pleasure. this world started off pure and simple but as our population grew we forgot about our roots and what we need to survive and focused on what we wanted in life. this led to no good, terrorizing the populations that you want to take over and control their land? so now i ask who are they're terrorists? were all decedents of evil at some point. as much as i believer all people are good at heart there is a moment in everyones life that they do something wrong and end up hurting themselves or the world as a whole. i've made mistakes and i will own up to those and let the world know i fucked up. what comes now is how to fix this. there is no easy solution as a whole, people just dont want to be bothered with matters other than their own. what they dont realize is that these matter are their own. they're contributing to the hardships and death of their population in the future weather it be their child's or their grandchild it will catch up to us. we cannot run from this. from pollution to the A bomb to letting dictators take control of their nations, to starving men women and children dying of hunger all around the world while we sit and contemplate if were hungry or not and eating either way. our gluttony and greed is astounding. in order to survive in this world we need 3 meals a day if that. being overweight is rarely a medical disorder and telling people that its "okay" to be this way kills me, not because i dislike overweight people but that they cant see around their own world to the world around them. of they ate the way they needed to they would not only save money but they would have that money for other needs. say helping someone else that could truly use it. we have single handedly annihilated our own existence in the future. we have managed to forget what were doing to this world by masking it with our everyday lives. we strive for the next biggest and most deadly thing, pistols to rifles, flame throwers to the atom bomb, from wooden plane with mounted guns to planes carrying enough fire power to destroy a city and leave nothing left. why do we feel the need to kill i understand that we cannot have piece in this world but we also don't strive for peace. we strive for what we want. wars over oil, wars over diamonds, wars over religion. no one takes the time to realize what they're doing. they just act. we have killed off numerous species in the short time we are here and im afraid to see what we will do next.

Clarity

The Poems or whatever you want to call them below are rather dark. its been an odd night and i wrote to get my emotions out. i am not depressed or suicidal by any means. dont go calling the cops to take me to a mental facility haha.

Poseidon Send Me Home

Falling from the sky my hopes crash upon the rocks like the waves in the ocean.
Never knowing what im doing I go numb, numb to the world around me.
I don’t feel the pain, I don’t feel the heartache just my emptiness.
The air around buzzes with questions but I cant hear the help.
Im a sinking ship without a distress call.
Sometimes I want to sink to the bottom and breath in the cold,
Poseidon will have the last say in my life my numbness has taken control.

Memories Like Bullets.

Should I be surprised that the day went by?
Like a flash of light its there then its gone.
Alone I stand at the end of this day,
Wondering where I went astray.
Never knowing what could have been,
The places we could have gone, the people we could have been.
My memories of you are like a bottle in the ocean,
The further I throw it the longer it takes to come back to sight,
Yet, the bottle always comes back to the spot from which it was thrown.
I mask the pain everyday and pretend it isn’t mine,
But it can’t hide.
The sleeping memories of what I had been comes to my brain like a bullet.
It cannot be removed for if it is it will leave me a shell of who I used to be.
I don’t dare change what had happened, for what has happened is me.

New Start

All my life I sat back and followed others and relied on them for every need and didn't take a second to think back and see what I really wanted from life. no decisions were made from my own wants and need and it led me to get into a horrible relationship that ended in a lot of heartache. After finding out that she was cheating on me my behind my back and breaking up with her for almost a year, eventually I had a second chance with her and ended up helping her cheat on her boyfriend at the time. Of course I didn't feel like that would be a reoccurring trend but obviously I was wrong. A few months later i was cheated on again, by the same person, for a second time, yeah i didn't think through that much. Now I try not to blame others for my own personal problems and I try my best to take responsibility for my actions but on the other hand, I have to also think about the fact that there are times when my problems are not my fault. What im getting at here is that I have issues emotionally from this that I try my best to not allow them to interfere with my life. (if you want to know more email me.) Now my issues that came from both my reliance on others around me and a bad relationship (Both times) that ware more physical than anything led me to believe that I was worthless and that the world might be better without me. I couldn't bring myself to do anything drastic but instead of cutting my wrists i cut my upper arm in an attempt for some attention and to see who still cared enough to want to help. I ended up getting caught in PE with the scars by a friend who was concerned and wanted me to get help. My parents found out (I dont know if it was because of this friend or not) and they quickly made me go to a phycologist who ended up just talking a lot to me and making me realize my potential. This painful experiment led me to one conclusion, even without her (ex) I had so much to live for and many people that care about me. unfortunately that didn't last long as i was forced to see her everyday at school, because we shared the same friends. Senior year I found alcohol and began to drink a lot and as often as I could. this lasted for over a year and then I came to Missouri State University. After my sister forced me to go to Christian Campus House and I was forced to have Christian friends (something I had previously vowed never to have) I began to see things in a different light. I sat back for over half a year and thought about what I wanted in life for the first time. After a lot of searching I found a few things about myself that I never knew. I was so unhappy with my life but I just lived it as a day by day experience instead of what the future may hold or how I feel about a certain situation. life is a beautiful thing and people in it are an amazing part of Gods great creation. I honestly never got the expression "you have to stop and smell the roses" until now. life goes by fast so enjoy whats around you, enjoy the beauty of nature and the beauty of those around you. Dont sit back and judge people for what you see on the outside but look for the beauty on the inside. its not easy to find sometimes but once you do their true beauty shines. I don't care if you black, white, gay or straight were all Gods creation and that in itself is a beautiful and glorious thing. I am sorry for this intro post but I needed to let this be known and I needed for you all to know. Have a great day.

-Cale Fichter